the dapper cosmic dwarf

patrick film test

An indifferent crack

Duchamp 2008

There is a crack. A very convincing crack in the Tate Modern Turbine hall. It starts as a hairline fracture by the front entrance and expands in width and depth as it runs down the whole length of the hall. I took a photo of it as it continued under the wall. Once I had finished a fellow spectator, who had a really big camera, smiled and congratulated me, she said I had made a great Art shot!!!

Upstairs I had my first encounter with a mirror in a frame in a gallery, which for a brief moment, held my portrait. The mirror, one of three, had been signed backwards by Marcel Duchamp and was apparently one of his ready-mades.

Later on, On the train ride home, it occurred to me that I hadn't asked Chloë if she had been able to see her portrait. She told me that she had, which got me thinking about size and distance.

Much later in the pub I broached the subject with Tim and Freya. They both agreed that if you where too tall or short for the mirror, you would need to walk backwards in order to see your portrait. After a short pause Tim said "People tend to get smaller in the distance!! there not really that big you know!!!"

Anyway back in the gallery, there we all were, in 2008, each spectator, famous for a few seconds, starring back at their very own portrait, A portrait by Marcel Duchamp that had been conceived in 1964 (10 years before I was born!!)

I took a photo on my phone. Because I could, or because I wasn't allowed? or maybe it was because I had missed the point?


Some time later I went back to make a drawing. The room was full of people and I had to wait in line to see the mirror. It was like being on a conveyor belt. As I got closer to the mirror, sketchbook and bic medium in hand, I began to get nervous. I was already hot and I felt a little dizzy from the coffee and cigarette I had just had. Finally I was in front of the piece, I was committed with nothing to do but draw the mug that was starring back at me!! I heard two little children say "look he's drawing himself" and I could feel the eyes of the spectators on me. The conveyor belt line had stopped and the other punters wanted to know why.